Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: To Cyber or Not


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: To Cyber or Not Page: <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 4:06:23 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
subailz,

well doing it a couple of time might be fun as you say, but I address the developement of a relationship.

CP

(in reply to cumulus)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 4:09:39 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
cuddle,

I am not here to convince you otherwise, just to open up the subject.

CP

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 4:11:17 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline
CP, I know this wasn't addressed to me but I don't understand how a realtionship can grow if there isn't face to face.  It seems to me that the comfort zone you speak of is not grounded in reality.  Haven't you ever gotten along fantastically with someone online and when you met that person, the "spark" just wasn't there?

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 4:12:28 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
Sweet,

I agree, it is simply a step toward face to face, but for some it is their only outlet into the worl od D/s.

CP

(in reply to Sweetlovnone)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 4:17:16 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
HPH,

a wel presented thought on the subject, but the time element must be based on mutual needs, in my view.

CP

(in reply to HatesParisHilton)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 4:18:03 AM   
steviemichael


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline
cybering a slag term  meaning the *act* of cybersex
 
anyone have read the book Neuromancer would be aware the term and also know where it all began.
define the noun cybering is a complex one.
>>Cybersex, computer sex or net sex is a virtual sex encounter in which two or more persons connected remotely via a computer network send one another sexually explicit messages describing a sexual experience. It is a form of role-playing in which the participants pretend they are having actual sexual relations, by describing their actions and responding to their chat partners in a mostly written form designed to stimulate their own sexual feelings and fantasies.
< >
Since this is known as virttual then one cannot say this is not reality  so a question out there in the life*style is this which life style do you practice a virtual one of a reality one. ?
Be well .

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 4:30:51 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
Cyber is for suckers, the only real sex is r/l which is why so many cyber subs (so I am led to believe) run a mile (or at least turn the computer off) when meeting and real sex is brought up.

_____________________________

There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

(in reply to steviemichael)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 4:45:57 AM   
steviemichael


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline
humm like i said in my last post the term cybersex is a complex one.
since the act of sex  and the sexuality of every person is totally differnt.
with repect to your post;what *real* sex is to yourself may also be *real* sex in a online experience.
a thought sex is not totally a phyiscal thing; the voice and the senses also play a important part .
the art of communcation is becoming a dieing art in a realtionship.

_____________________________

switch/submissive male walking in the path of and learning of my true desires and enjoying what i am discovering

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 9:10:12 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
Slave, you seem as though you have a closed mind on the subject and my comments are in no way to be considered argument or debate on the issue.

For some in the lifestyle or those on the perimetercyber may be the only option open to them. for example, becoming aware of their submissive needs later in life, perhaps already married to a long term nilla.husband or wife.

Those who have a physical problem that prevents a normal interaction face to face.

I do not present that cyber is a replacement for all, but do present that for those that are looking for a LTR can save time and effort through determnining compatability through cyber before actually turning to a face to face relationship.


CP

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 9:16:50 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
Susan,

My point exactly, it is a step in the dance.

1=initial contact chat etc.
2=cyber
3=phone
4=cam
5=face to face
and all in well with ea step, a solid D/s relationship has been born.

CP

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 9:21:00 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
bandit,

see my reply to Susanof O,

cyber is simply a step toward a possible face to face LTR.

CP

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 9:59:42 AM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline
Wow a whole lot of anti-cyber folks lol. Okies here goes.. I met my Dom of 6 years through cyber. We played online for nearly a year before we met & when we met holy cow it was fantastic. I was unable to meet him for that length of time and cyber was a good substitute.
Cybering did not build the relationship it simply gave it a chance.
Cyber sex is not real sex, I can put my ankles behind my neck in cyber space but not in RL. *which is a shame dang it*
Yet it gave us the beginning to find out if we liked each other, thought similarily etc. I know it is rare to develop a 6 year relationship out of cyber but it can happen. He is still my mentor and I will always love him. If not for cyber my life would be less for not having ever met him.
On the casual cyber sex side it was fun to create a story that got a man so excited he was unable to type lol. I loved that, I loved being able to write and provide a strong enough fantasy for another to reach orgasm.
Maybe it is because I am a writer, I see cyber sex as a way to tap into a bit of ourselves that usually lies dormant.
It can work, that does not mean it will work. Brain sex can be absolutely stupendous, orgasm optional. I didn't need to orgasm, I enjoyed the act of writing that much.
I find it a bit funny that so many here denigrate cyber sex, role playing etc. To me it is nothing more than another way to use the internet. I never cared if the person at the other end weighed 500lbs, it was the brain & the writing skills that excited me.
 nothing wrong with having fun, the wrong comes in when you blur that line between fantasy and reality.


*it is MO mine mine I tell'ya.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 10:22:09 AM   
Donnalee


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

cjenny said:  I find it a bit funny that so many here denigrate cyber sex, role playing etc. To me it is nothing more than another way to use the internet. I never cared if the person at the other end weighed 500lbs, it was the brain & the writing skills that excited me.
 nothing wrong with having fun, the wrong comes in when you blur that line between fantasy and reality.


I agree.  It's something that certaily does exist, and it's really pointless in trying to compare it to RL physical encounters.  It doesn't substitute other forms of interaction, its simply a new way to interact with others, brought on by technology.  It happens.  It's real. 

People have had fantasy relationships with book characters for years...all kinds of them.  People have fantasy relationships with characters they use in role-playing games.  There are zillions of collective hours spent on our planet by people enjoying online role-play combat games.  Many children's lives are enriched by their invisible play partners.  Many adolescents (and adults) spend hours staring at porn, have favorite stars, follow their movies, and enjoy their fanship.   The internet is just another way of enjoying something that people have been doing all along. 

Of course there are times when people, for various reasons, let that get out of proportion to their other responsibilities, or get lost in fantasy.  Most people make mistakes every day in some area of their life.

I've had trouble putting a good book down.  I've mourned the death of characters or the ending of a series of books.  To read some of these posts, you'd think that those feelings are somehow loftier compared to a person feeling something relevant to a cyber encounter.

What is with all this thinly veiled...."I'm better than you because________________________"?

As my unmentionables often tell me.."Chillax".

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 10:32:18 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

What is with all this thinly veiled...."I'm better than you because________________________"?

As my unmentionables often tell me.."Chillax".


I have not read that at all from people, perhaps I have not caught it. I read people not understanding it, not needing it, not enjoying it... but I read very few people saying that cyber was bad for other people. Some people just do not enjoy it. Some people do not like chocolate, others love vanilla... But maybe I just read the thread differently.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Donnalee)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 12:13:03 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

The people that complain about cybersex and say it's boring or a waste clearly aren't doing it right! (grin).

Most of my BDSM activities are in real life and always have been.  But I still find the phone and the internet to be great tools for hot long distance encounters.  The same goes for phone sex. If someone looks down on me because I think phone domination/phone sex can be hot, I think they suffer from a very poor imagination!  Keep in mind, these are not REPLACEMENTS for real life, but enhancements. I like to explore sexuality in ALL forms.

Before the Internet, I often wrote hot, sexually steamy love letters to partners, knowing they would shoot their load on the final page.  I liked lovers that could do the same -- write me notes that would literally make me ache with desire.  Does that mean we were losers in real life sex? Of course not, this was ENHANCEMENT!  If a man cannot use the written word to arouse me, or craft sentences to make me wet, then he's probably going to be a disappointment in bed. Why? Because he can't use the most important sexual organ of all - the brain.

Those that slam cyber or phone sex or domination I think are closeminded and/or intimdated by the thought of having to arouse someone without touching their sexparts.  Hey, in person, it's easy.  But that's why so many men fall short in bed -- they limit themselves sexually to tacticle sensations. They can't talk dirty, they have no sense of timing and they are unable to understand the wiring of the female brain because they haven't romanced it using the written word.

Most men suck at cybersex, cybersubmission.  Many are pretty bad at phonesex, but some can do it.  Those that are exceptional at both were always fine lovers in person.  They get it. They have patience.  They think things through.  They also take care in understanding my hot buttons. 

I don't engage in the kind of cybersex that goes like this:  "Akasha binds your wrists tightly to the bedposts."  "/me struggles and whimpers, looking at you helplessly" -- nah, that's not it. What I like are steamy email exchanges where I list demands and expectations, and expect them to be carried out, photographed and/or videotaped, then responded to in detail.  I don't do email/cyber stuff any more unless there's a telephone component -- I want to be on the phone when a lot of this is going on so I can hear the reactions.  The Internet allows us to combine audio, video and text now for a mindblowing experience. 

People wrongly judge those who engage in cyber and phone sex as being incapable of having "real life" bdsm. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm someone with a daily dose of physical BDSM in real life. I see cyber and phone as enhancement to an already mindblowing sex life. 

For those that claim real life is the only way to go, I suppose if your lover had to leave town for two weeks you'd sit there twiddling your thumbs and playing with your privates all alone because you are incapable of taking your sexuality outside of the 3d world?  Sad!!

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 12:17:51 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

The people that complain about cybersex and say it's boring or a waste clearly aren't doing it right! (grin).


That is like saying that people who are not into being tied up are not doing it right, or people that are not gay never met the right person, or .. or ,.. or... Some people are visually stimulated, some are audio oriented, some are tactile, I am a tactile person.... beating myself just does not do the job for me

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 3:40:46 PM   
NaiveTempest


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/20/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
I agree, cybering could be used as a stepping stone to r/l relations. Could I do it? Maybe after I got to know and like the person enough via email, chats and phone calls. But, if I'm talking to them on the phone, I'd probably be doing phone sex more than cyber. Most every cyber experience I've had tended to arouse humor more than lust.

(in reply to HatesParisHilton)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 3:56:11 PM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

The people that complain about cybersex and say it's boring or a waste clearly aren't doing it right! (grin).



You mean they don't know how to wank?

_____________________________

There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 4:01:39 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

The people that complain about cybersex and say it's boring or a waste clearly aren't doing it right! (grin).



You mean they don't know how to wank?


Your inability to get the point makes it for me, thank you!!

Clue:  Sexual pleasure does not begin and end in orgasm.


Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: To Cyber or Not - 1/7/2007 4:06:03 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Clue:  Sexual pleasure does not begin and end in orgasm.


"Does not" is a very definitive statement, perhaps you meant "Does not have to"?


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: To Cyber or Not Page: <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078