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What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 10:48:23 AM

valeca

Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline

For Dominants and submissives alike

What (if any) facet of you, or your life, are you working on improving now? Any skills you're currently trying to improve/learn that might benefit you or your other half/third/quarter/partner (or future other half/third/quarter/partner if there isn't a current one)?

I was thinking along the lines of BDSM related ( ie. postures, massage, skill with specific toys, traits, etc.), but the question obviously can't be confined to it.

--I'll start it off by saying I'm working on improving and maintaining my submissive mindset. After 7 years, I still find I come up against old conventions that just don't jive with the M/s aspect of my relationship. I'm finding ways to let them go.

Oh, and not shaking my head when I see Loraith making a new toy that I know is going hurt like hell. Although, I think He rather likes that reaction...

_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

Post #: 1

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 11:05:50 AM

slave2Bruce

Posts: 43
Joined: 1/27/2007
Status: offline

Since B and i are so new to this as a 24/7 M/s relationship i am working on a lot! Since we are creating our "slave contract/ protocol" right now, i am working on being very open to Him about: what would satisfy my needs, what i would like to do for Him on a daily or regular basis, how certain things make me feel, etc. It's quite hard to open up in that way, since it makes me feel so vulnerable, so it is not just helping Him to learn more about me, it is also helping me to grow and learn about myself. Other things i am working on is focusing more on how i can satisfy His needs before He may even know what they are, & learning how to show Him worship.

_____________________________

Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all...

She's a black magic woman, she's trying to make a devil out of me.

Dance in a ring of flames, shadows fall the same, fire, love and pain. Do voodoo...

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 2

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 11:12:17 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

I am working on learning more about proper table etiquette/settings for dinner parties. I continually work on improving my knowledge of food and food preparation.

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 3

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 11:13:05 AM

blmtrsne

Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline

On improving my slave/husband: his tongue is being trained regulary now, and he learns how to iron.

_____________________________

-- Owner of slrn733561 --

(in reply to slave2Bruce)

Post #: 4

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 11:18:18 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

My typing.
for obvious reasons
and it isnt going all that well *sigh*
I knew i should have taken typing instead of shop in HS

and incase anyone doesnt understand why this is BDSM related, Angel and I were long distance and almost completely on the phone and online, hence the typing difficulties.

< Message edited by DiurnalVampire -- 2/3/2007 11:19:50 AM >

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to blmtrsne)

Post #: 5

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 11:29:38 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

Given I should be picking up a violet wand tomorrow then obviously, with it meaning I finaly get to play in private with it.... that is going to get explored and much more familiar very very shortly

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 6

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 11:38:16 AM

mymasterssub69

Posts: 566
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

a few things i'm working to imporve:

my stubbornness and my strive to be perfect all the time

to stop being hard on myself when things don't go according to plans

accepting that mistakes do happen as long as i learn from them

building my self confidence and esteem

allowing myself to fall in love again

_____________________________

there is something infinitely magical
about a Daddy Dom
...something only a little girl
can understand.

collared on 16th Jan 2007 by bigsambaman, my Daddy

(in reply to blmtrsne)

Post #: 7

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 11:42:31 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

DV - the way i taught myself typing was to make sure my fingers were positioned properly and allow myself to "look" at the keys (making sure i used the appropriate finger with each key). Eventually i started to memorize which finger went where and once i had partial memory - if i made a typo i would rewrite the whole sentence. Eventually i stopped allowing myself to look at all, still using my typo clause.

Lets see...... what i'm working on more.... hmmmmm? Everything? Any way i improve myself, improves things for my Master... so its all in a sense bdsm related. Trying to not let my bad moods over run me, my insecurities over run, my trust issues over run me, trying not to jump to conclusions if things seem funny, trying not to be overly negative, trying not to let my doubts over run me, trying to keep my attitude in check if things do over run me, trying to stay respectful if things over run me, working on my issue with weight, working on keeping active when all i want to do is be lazy, working on keeping up todate with school, working on obeying better no matter how i feel, working on not argueing, working on not shutting down communications with Master when i'm feeling miserable or low and being open and letting him know whats going on with me, em.... i thought about working on my pride (as Master seems to agree i have alot of it... but i've other things currently) Thats about all i can think of atm

Master is currently trying to get me to learn to have a routine and my sleep schedule. Its hard, i like to be a night owl and i hate routines. i think i'm doing crap at it, but he told me i was doing well and he's proud. i suppose he doesnt expect me to be perfect and that i'll have a few slip ups. But honestly, i have issues with not being perfect so i dun think i'm doing that well. i'll get over it = )

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 8

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 11:48:36 AM

MistressDiane

Posts: 334
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

I'm working very hard on finding more patience and to be more forgiving. I tend to stew on things and have a hard time just letting it go.

_____________________________

Ms. Diane
"..and they who danced were thought insane by those who refused to hear the music." ~Monet

*Suffer BayBeee!!!!!*

"My treasures do not sparkle or glitter, they shine in the sun and neigh in the night."

(in reply to Devilslilsister)

Post #: 9

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 1:06:13 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: valeca

For Dominants and submissives alike

What (if any) facet of you, or your life, are you working on improving now? Any skills you're currently trying to improve/learn that might benefit you or your other half/third/quarter/partner (or future other half/third/quarter/partner if there isn't a current one)?

I was thinking along the lines of BDSM related ( ie. postures, massage, skill with specific toys, traits, etc.), but the question obviously can't be confined to it.

--I'll start it off by saying I'm working on improving and maintaining my submissive mindset. After 7 years, I still find I come up against old conventions that just don't jive with the M/s aspect of my relationship. I'm finding ways to let them go.

Oh, and not shaking my head when I see Loraith making a new toy that I know is going hurt like hell. Although, I think He rather likes that reaction...

I used to be a very good violinist (it was my career path) and I haven't really played recently. But this year I'd like to go back to it again since my owner has never heard me play live.

I definitely always like to refine my ability to obey and submit (sometimes I hem and haw a bit much or I get a little self concious) so thats always an area of improvement even thought I've been with my owner for several years.

I also want to take a cooking class at the CIA - I love cooking and I want to improve my knife skills since I bought myself some Henckl knives last year.

Thats about it off the top of my head,
C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 10

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 1:14:05 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

Honestly? Letting go. And it's taking a whole bunch of practice.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 11

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 1:14:13 PM

mefisto69

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/19/2007
Status: offline

currently working on accuracy with a 9' whip

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 12

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 1:19:15 PM

Mustardseed

Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline

Being straight-forward about what I want, rather than accepting what I'm offered. Trying not to make waves, trying to keep everyone else happy, hasn't worked for years ... and my Daddy isn't having any of it. He's not my wish-granting genie, but he does want to know what's on my mind, and he wants to watch me strive for what I want in life.

(in reply to mefisto69)

Post #: 13

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 1:20:13 PM

Donnalee

Posts: 339
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline

I'm working on learning the appropriate levels of loyalty. I've always thought it was better to err on the 'too loyal too long', but I think my perspective is skewed.

_____________________________

Just through all of your ups and downs ... know that I love you dearly.

(in reply to mefisto69)

Post #: 14

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 1:21:08 PM

softcoresicko

Posts: 41
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline

I'd say everything, but that's already been taken. I am trying to be happier person overall; I have the sad tendency to be rather depressed in life, particularly since I just got in a car accident.

As for BDSM related stuff, I've been trying to find out where I fit in the spectrum of subs/switches/doms; both to understand myself better, and figure out how I can relate to others who share my interests.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 15

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 1:27:38 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I am working on learning how to protect my boundaries in constuctive ways and controlling my negative thinking. Those are the top two, but there are many other things that feed out of those as well.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 16

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 1:32:20 PM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

i am working on forgiveness. It is a daunting task.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 17

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 1:41:33 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

I am working on being more easy going about certain things, like his not being able to be here much. We both know I get absoliutely bat shit unhappy about it, sometimes angry, it don't do any good to keep getting so unhappy. He's working extreamly hard to become finacially stable and have money for an apartment, or a move to me. Fussing and pissing and crying isn't going to help things go faster.

(in reply to angelic)

Post #: 18

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 1:46:38 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Mostly working on my weight, remaining on a steady workout schedule and becoming more financially secure with a good plan for retirement.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 19

RE: What are you working on improving? - 2/3/2007 1:55:41 PM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

There are three main things I'm working on.

First, I'm (still) working on improving my mindset, trying to stop the old habits that refuse to completely die. This includes letting myself accept that there are people who are attracted to me.

Second, I'm working on controlling emotions- I have pretty solid control over them, but I know that if I back down, that could change.

And third, I'm trying to be a little more open, and a little less funny. I read something recently that mentioned the two main uses of jokes are to bring people closer and to keep them at arms length. I've been using it for the latter too much, and it's something I want to change.

In a lot of ways, these are all maintenance, but that's what I'm working on now.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 20

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