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RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 1:09:30 PM

Brownbohemian

Posts: 55
Joined: 2/20/2007
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I agree, patience is the only sincere answer.
However, it is frustrating always being on the prowl. What is even worse is those willing but are not sincere in their desire. I am asking for too much it seems. However, I am not asking for too much when I expect people to repond to the post and not my graamer. This site is filled with horrible graamer, yet every english teacher on this site wants to respond to me today. Please let's try to stay of topic b/c my graamer will never improve. Get over it.
Yes I know one a not two. Does it look like I care.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 21

RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 1:12:19 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
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From: Houston, TX
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Yes I know...my question is if it is not a hard limit, should it matter? For example, they would do it if asked but it is not too important to them so if never asked, wouldn't care.

The reason I ask is I generally get sub inquiries in this order (quantity wise)
1. Subs who are straight but may do same sex acts if "forced"
2. Subs who are straight and have same sex acts as a hard limit
3. Subs who crave same sex acts and are actively seeking a domme who will do this type of play.

Maybe it's just my experience but that's what I see. If same sex acts being a hard limit is not a necessity, there may be more of a chance for her to find a compatible partner.

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Post #: 22

RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 1:14:09 PM

SweetDommes

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The fact that you are so beligerant about not correcting your errors makes me think that maybe there is a reason that you are still looking (besides plain old bad luck, which is what most seem to suffer from). I realize that grammar is a small error to make, and yes, lots of people make those mistakes - but those who make mistakes intentionally and point them out and make it clear that they aren't going to change them ... they make me wonder what other mistakes he or she would make and refuse to correct (and future ones might be far more significant than simple grammar and/or spelling).

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RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 1:17:52 PM

MzMia

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Because most of the men especially online are not submissives or slaves--most are bottoms and many are
do me's. I have been on this site almost 3 years and that is my opinion, period.
When you find a "slave" and meet him real time and spend time in a relationship with him, from this site,
please come back and let all of us know.

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Post #: 24

RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 1:21:03 PM

MzMia

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Hello Brownbohemian, welcome to the boards and please start posting on the AskAMistress section, also.
We don't bite down there. There are many spelling and grammar nazi's online that spend their lives looking for spelling
and grammatical errors, don't let it get you down. Many get their jollies attacking and criticizing others around here,
ignore and move on.
Good luck dear.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 3/31/2007 1:26:05 PM >

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Post #: 25

RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 1:28:57 PM

Brownbohemian

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Joined: 2/20/2007
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MzMia you are sooo right. But I am not just looking here, I was only venting here. My search includes real time as well as online. My comments are based on ten years in the lifestyle. I will of course keep looking and if I find one here I will be more than happy you let you know. But neither of us will be holding our breath. LOL

Sweet Dommes, give me a break. You missed my point entirely. Correcting my grammer on not an issue for me, it is people like you who keep bringing it up. I have yet to find a slave who cared about run on sentences in the middle of play. And Darling, if doesn't come up then it won't be an issue in the future.

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RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 1:32:17 PM

SweetDommes

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I didn't miss your point, I actually got it quite clearly. In fact, I'm getting it now as well.

My reply stands - with your beligerant attitude, it makes me wonder. Of course no one will be concerned about run-ons during a scene ... because if you are scening, I would hope that you aren't typing - thus eliminating the problem entirely. Here, where your only method of making any kind of contact at all is through typing, it becomes a much larger deal ... and your reaction to it simply makes it worse.

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RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 1:35:20 PM

Ph0enixF1re

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Joined: 5/11/2006
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As someone also looking for the "perfect slave" (quotes inserted to denote that my perfect is not everyone's) (does the comma go inside or outside

?), let me offer an opinion:

When two people meet for the first time, or even during the course of the initial discussion, there will always be some edges that don't fit perfectly. Each Master is different, with different expectations and methods. A slave that I can work with and train to my liking, may not fit someone else at all. So, if the prospective slaves are committed to XXXXX, then perhaps you need to work on the training aspects to allow them to change. You state that many of them beg to change, and that seems to be a worthy goal. Changing to suit the Master or Mistress is what slaves do afterall. So, my suggestion is to allow one of these petitioners the chance to do what he wishes....Change to fit your needs. Besides, the training part is so much fun!!!!!

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 28

RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 1:41:16 PM

Hanable

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patients is the key to almost everything in the world.. be it the BDSM world or the normal one... it is the key and many ppl need to master it .. or at least get a better handle on it.

H >:)

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RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 1:47:18 PM

AAkasha

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I think you need to be prepared to be patient, be disappointed, and to work hard. There's a misconception that a "perfect slave" exists. He exists only in so much that a perfect "mate" exists, but on top of that, needs "work." Submissives need direction, boundaries, clear communication and someone who is patient and willing to deal with their issues as they develop.

The challenge is finding one that is worth the time and work to cultivate. There were some subs that I met that were very difficult and frustrating to deal with and I kept at it, and they matured into fantastic, passionate partners. The knee jerk reaction is to dump any sub that pisses you off or disappoints you, simply because the "sub pool" is so large. I think a lot of us femdoms are dumping some subs a little too soon rather than taking a step back and trying to work through the problems.

Some subs are ambivalent, confused, and trying to figure out fantasy from reality. They are bombarded with come-ons from "pros" who are pretending to be relationship-seekers and who tap into their fantasies right out of the gate, then ask for money later. This makes subs bitter, suspicious and angry. By the time the sub reaches the door of a legitimate femdom, chances are he is damaged goods.

How do we distinguish between those men truly seeking a mutually satisfying relationship and who are willing to share their part of the work? Trial and error. But femdoms need to know that just because the sub pool is so large, we shouldn't dump semi-decent subs for errors that can be corrected. Just be clear about the expectations and if it happens again, then they are history.

Akasha

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RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 1:58:34 PM

Olias

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Joined: 3/31/2007
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Not wishing to join in with the arrogant and self-congratulating answers to your original query, I would say this.

As a submissive male struggling to find a Domme in my area I would say that I would love nothing more than to offer myself totally to a lady such as yourself however, life dictates that this is not always possible.

I have an elderly mother and a good job, which involves travel and periods away from home over which I have no control subsequently, I am not in a position to commit to anything be it sexual or otherwise.

The point I am trying to make is that finding a sub is one thing but we all have our personal circumstances and finding one that can offer you their life is another however, the answer is simply to hang in there as you patience will be rewarded one day.

I only wish I could be what you are looking for.

Sorry if my spelling or grammar is not perfect................hang on,...........................no I'm not!!!!!

Thank You

(in reply to Brownbohemian)

Post #: 31

RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 2:38:10 PM

thetammyjo

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It's a matter of personality and interpersonal dynamics plus the need to go slowly and build together.

I have never just found a slave either.

I have found submissives who later became my slaves over time.

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Post #: 32

RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 2:40:22 PM

AquaticSub

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

What difference does it make if it is a hard limit or not as long as not doing that is not a deal breaker for them? Anyway, if that's the biggest issue you are coming up against, count yourself lucky. Most male subs who contact me are opposed to same sex acts.

quote:

And while you search, you can certainly enjoy and benefit from those legitimately submissive souls looking to serve slavishly.

I love that

Her thing is that she doesn't want a man who has ever been with a man at all or considers it a possiblity. She's convinced that every man who is willing to put aside his sexuality to please his mistress is really just going to cheat on her. Or something like that.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 3/31/2007 2:57:49 PM >

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RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 2:54:59 PM

jj292

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Joined: 2/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Brownbohemian

I am sure most of you are looking at this and wondering what in the worlld I am talking about. Well, it is simple, I have not found one slave suitible for my needs. We go through the intial getting to know you deal, (what he want ,what I want what he won't and what I won't), but it always end with him being far more commited to (insert excuse here) than to me which makes a very poor slave. I of course drop him, and move on. Then come the calls, the begging, and the "I can change" speeches. NO!! I made it very clear as to what I wanted and was very willing to do my duty as a D to acheive it. I understand this is the BDSM world and bull#%$^ is part of the game, but give me a break. How long must a Mistress hunt before she bags the big one. Any advice dear Ladies and gentlemen would be greatly appreciated.

Some people spend their whole lives searching for that special someone. Sometimes they find that person, sometimes they never do.

But it sounds as if you are looking for someone to fit perfectly what you are looking for. Literally, the statistical chances of finding someone that will fit all your criteria is nearly impossible...at least not anywhere that lives anywhere near you. It's an open-minded lifestyle and as much as you want your sub to be open-minded, you just may have to be open-minded a bit as well.

No two people are exactly alike. Even the most intimate and loving relationship will have problems and conflicts. That's part of the game of life.

(in reply to Brownbohemian)

Post #: 34

RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 3:03:51 PM

PeterJay

Posts: 1220
Joined: 9/24/2006
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Here's a thought. Not everyone takes the time to fill out a detailed profile or respond with a detailed introduction Email. How about telling the people what you want and what you are looking for in a slave besides; "Simply looking. Hoping to find. To all the women out there, I am a woman, not a man pretending. Don't bother me if you are a jaded lesbian." If you only have the time to type out two sentences, what makes us believe that you are going to have the time to dedicate to a D/s relationship and find your prefect slave?

< Message edited by PeterJay -- 3/31/2007 3:04:48 PM >

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RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 3:14:59 PM

MasterFireMaam

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From: Charleston, WV
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If you're doing the same thing over and over, don't expect different results. Look at how you're presenting yourself, how you're conducting yourself, where you're looking, etc. Then change it...if you fine tune it enough, you'll get different results.

Master Fire

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RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 3:23:00 PM

Hanable

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From: BFE ohio
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this may be a bit of topic but... what really bothers me is when u find a good sub that you can mold into a close to perfect one.. but they wout change, not even a lil, cuz "its not who they r" if there a true sub or slave.. there giving up "who they r" to a point to fit the masters preferences.. am i correct in saying that or am i jsut off my nut?

H >:)

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RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 3:27:28 PM

MasterFireMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hanable

this may be a bit of topic but... what really bothers me is when u find a good sub that you can mold into a close to perfect one.. but they wout change, not even a lil, cuz "its not who they r" if there a true sub or slave.. there giving up "who they r" to a point to fit the masters preferences.. am i correct in saying that or am i jsut off my nut?

H >:)

In this case, you might have indeed found a good sub, but you've not found one that matches you. Going into a relationships expecting big change from your partner is unfair and unlikely. Change is hard. Look for better matches and you won't be so frustrated.

Master Fire

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RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 3:32:43 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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why is it so hard to find a male slave? perhaps it's not the lack of patience but because you seek the person without any prospects of building a relationship. you're probably jumping right in the BDSM questions (likes, dislikes, hard limits, etc) before getting to know the person behind the chosen role (his interests out the community, etc). if you don't build a solid personal relationship with your potential slave, it's doom to fail before it even starts.

my two cents of the day

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RE: Why is it so hard to find a male slave? - 3/31/2007 3:32:51 PM

Hanable

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u have a good point master fire.. thank u. i have been more careful about picking subs since then... but i still find it annoying.. but thats just me.

H >:)

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