Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 5:58:10 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

it is classless and impolite NOT to respond to someone who sent you a letter of introduction. 


Do you understand the type of mail we receive?  Here's some examples:

"hi"
"where do you live"
"yummy"

Why would anyone respond to that sort of nonsense?



Since I am in the process of drafting the "perfect" letter of introduction... A sure fire initial contact piece that will have even the most jaded of subs longing to have their tonsils tickled by the Domiding.

What exactly in the above letter of introduction did you find not appealing?

Would it have made a difference if they had stated "Your cunt is yummy?"

Thank you for your assistance regarding this project.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 4/29/2007 5:59:36 PM >

_____________________________



(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 5:57:59 PM   
fadedlace


Posts: 137
Joined: 5/17/2005
From: Louisiana
Status: offline 		*edited to add...Some of* The women here are saying, yes, it's nice to be polite and mannerly and say a polite "no thank you," but those of us who do that, are simply barraged by the ignorant and abusive and demanding responses to THOSE emails.  The only way to effectively send a polite and mannerly "no thank you" to an initial email without enduring some sort of anger/demand for explanation in the second email *and I'm sorry, but 70% in my personal experience over the years DO send second emails) is to block any further emails as soon as you send the initial one.  And that gets old and tiresome.
If you gentlemen *and not so gentle men* sent no thank you emails and got treated this way almost every time by the recipient, you'd fully understand why some choose to simply not respond at all unless there is a definite interest.
I'm sorry to hear there are feelings that this is rude, when it's not always the case.

< Message edited by fadedlace -- 4/29/2007 6:00:30 PM >

(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 6:02:37 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

I've always been courteous when messaging a sub. I think that many women, in particular, tend to lump all men together into a stereotype, thinking we're all out just to get laid, therefore don't answer even those that aren't.....hell I don't know lol, I'm surprised the thread even made it to four pages, I expected to be shot down rather quickly with all the reasons NOT to answer lol. How about some help and tell me what does get an answer lol


“Hello” is certainly courteous, but doesn’t give me much to respond to. 
This weekend alone, I received two emails which said, “I like what’s in your profile.”  My profile is completely blank!
Is it more polite to ignore them, or would it be better to point out the obvious? 
………….just wonderin’!


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 6:03:31 PM   
lockedaway


Posts: 1720
Joined: 3/15/2007
Status: offline 		There's nothing wrong with blocking someone.  Are you trying to tell me that if you ignore a guy that he isn't going to write back?  I'm sorry, I find that very, even exceptionally, hard to believe.  The polite thing to do is write you curt "thanks but no thanks" and block them if need be.  Tell me, you don't feel rude to not respond to an email?  Do you not say "thank you" if someone holds a door open for you or opens your car door?  Do it for yourself because it is part of you and to hell with the  lame brained guys.  Does that make sense?

(in reply to fadedlace)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 6:06:52 PM   
fadedlace


Posts: 137
Joined: 5/17/2005
From: Louisiana
Status: offline 		Actually, I DO reply to every email.  Whether it's a polite "no thank you" or a more to the point one taking time to say WHY I'm not interested in getting to know them.  And I don't block them willy-nilly, but there are requisites for my doing that, and no I will not share those.

(in reply to lockedaway)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 6:11:21 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Um.  Hey.

I posted on here directly to the OP and he didn't respond.  Would that not make him rude, discourteous and fake?

(rolling my eyes)

MSS

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to fadedlace)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 6:13:12 PM   
fadedlace


Posts: 137
Joined: 5/17/2005
From: Louisiana
Status: offline 		Maybe he hasn't checked his bulk mail?

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 6:13:16 PM   
lockedaway


Posts: 1720
Joined: 3/15/2007
Status: offline 		"There's nothing in my profile.  Thanks and good luck in your search."  how is that?

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 6:19:04 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lockedaway

"There's nothing in my profile.  Thanks and good luck in your search."  how is that?

And I would be thanking them for what, exactly?  For the fact they apparently didn't even bother to look?  For giving me a good laugh?
Believe me, not responding to them was the most polite thing I could do.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to lockedaway)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 6:23:16 PM   
lockedaway


Posts: 1720
Joined: 3/15/2007
Status: offline 		Whatever.  I would say what I posted to you because it makes me the better person.  Simple.  "Thanks..."  What am I thanking them for?  Nothing.  I'm being polite in the way I terminate hearing from the person.  "Thanks, take care, good luck in your search."  You don't want to write something that simple?  Don't.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 6:47:21 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		A point I rarely bring up in these threads (partly because I rarely ever bother responding to them anymore at all) is how on earth all those other doms manage to be in healthy long term relationships?

You're all fishing in the same pond here...somehow THEY manage to make dates and find people and make relationships without having to whine and be annoyed at lack of responses.

Shouldn't that tell you something?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to lockedaway)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 6:55:27 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lockedaway

Whatever


 
~just laughs~  Your polite veneer wore off pretty quickly!


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to lockedaway)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 6:58:17 PM   
lockedaway


Posts: 1720
Joined: 3/15/2007
Status: offline 		I don't know what you are saying.  I'm not going to argue the point with you.  If you don't feel it's rude not to respond then don't.  I don't know what veneer you are referring to.  I haven't been obsequious in anything I have written.  I think I have been quite direct and plain.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/29/2007 7:15:49 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		~fast reply~
Sheesh.
To respond to someone whom you have no interest in just invites more pm's coming your way.
To block someone who is intent on contacting you may have the opposite effect, they will make a new profile and continue to bombard you.
The easiest way not to be bothered when you aren't interested is to simply not respond. 
This is on-line stuff, if you are bothered by it it's your problem, not the sub who's not responding to you.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to lockedaway)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/30/2007 3:17:37 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings

i had a sub write to me kind letter well written. but then the next letter was like out of a nightmare. he said that i was from africa and i was scaming him for money. he told me i was working to take al of his things and i was one the phone writing to him for this. i was so shocked. i had not ideal. then he just would write things so crazy i thought he lose his minds. then to my shock somehow he got my email address and wrote me there i never had this happen before. well i find out a sub on collarme did this to me. he was the only one who know my email adress. before this happen i wrote to him about how i did not want to see him and how he acted so strange . i had asked him if he ever been in a mental place he acted so strange i am lucky i never meant or went anywhere to meet him. so for pay back he did this . i found out by when i wrote him upset and he was so calm and just ask " who was the turd ' i am very good at sesning when someone is dangerous and i never been worng so it was fun for him but scarer for me . yes they sometime are strange . i wrote to him and said if you write back i know you id not do this. he never wrote back . i learn something keep my sesne open and they never let me down

mons

(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/30/2007 3:32:23 AM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		I feel zero compassion for doms who receive no responses. Either my husband or myself can generate over a 90% response rate whenever we feel like writing to people. When I've had some male dom approach me to whine about his lack of responses, and have made the error of trying to teach him the methods he needs to follow to ensure the highest possible level of response, his eyes have invariably glazed over and he ignored everything I said to go back to his "tried and true" methods. At first I thought that these men were simply lousy writers, but now I'm well on the way to believing they're simply lazy but willing to complain without putting in the work.

Molly's Free Hint:
Don't make your first letter to someone a Grand Proposal that forces them to accept or reject you in one minute. Just approach them by mentioning one of their forum posts or at least something interesting in their profile, and ask them an interesting question either about their opinion on the subject, or to tell you something about it. It's more difficult to say "no thank you, not interested" to someone who's discussing something you are interested in yourself, and then you at least have your response and possibly a friendly foot-in-the-door for further conversations.
 
/me calmly watches all the men run off to write "Hi, can we get together to see if we're right for each other?" letters and get no responses.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/30/2007 5:11:32 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		I completely agree KatyLied, ignoring without reply followed up with a block is about the best way I've come up with to prevent continued contact.

I've put a lot of info in my profile & I have said if someone does write a polite & informative introduction & I don't have interest I will reply with at least a minimum of "not interested"
<thinking about taking that part out lately>

Every time I have ever wrote back with "not interested" & I don't block the account... I get that question "why are you not interested?" so I make it a practice to block every account that I don't want to hear back from & so far there doesn't seem to be a size limit to the block list on CM.

This whole debate is just another case of you can't please all of the people all of the time. No matter how many people want to debate that no reply equals rude or I don't know why you can't reply to every mail because I do... well, thats you & you aren't me so you just do whats good for you & stop imposing your methods on the rest of the world. 

As for those who come on here complaining about not getting replies... well, I've come to a point where I view those who tend to bitch in whine about things they have no personal control over in life will be the type that will most likely whine & carry on about a plethora of other trivial matters in life. These people aren't the types I would want to be involved with much alone be friends with... this is a personality trait that I would have a conflict with.

I actually thankful that they come on here whining about "I can't get no satisfaction" or "why oh why won't you you talk to me".... it gives me a chance to block their po' lil me, whimpering asses before they email me.

There a proactive approach to dealing with almost anything :-)

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 4/30/2007 5:14:22 AM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/30/2007 5:14:59 AM   
lockedaway


Posts: 1720
Joined: 3/15/2007
Status: offline 		I guess I haven't had the same experience as you.  When I say "Thanks but no thanks" that pretty much ends it.  It was polite of me to respond to their e mail and so I did what I felt was right. 

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/30/2007 6:14:36 AM   
amuzingtoyou


Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		Lockaway...
why is it without manners? I am under no obligation to respond to someone i don't know. I didn't ask them to write to me....am i the only one who thinks this way?
missi

(in reply to lockedaway)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/30/2007 6:45:54 AM   
Stranger1


Posts: 219
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

First and foremost, this is NOT a post critical of the sincere sub that searches. Enough of the excuses already, such as "I get too many messages to answer them all"(Then don't advertise and expect not to), "I'm taken"(then why list as seeking),  etc etc. Not all that difficult to type "I'm interested" or "no thanks" and click reply. Even if the sub is not interested, does that have to equal a lack of courtesy by not replying at all? Why even allow the double standard or prolong the use of it.  I at least take the time to respond to someone who takes the time to message me. Maybe the expectations are a bit too high on the professed "sub's" part if she/he is just there and doesn't reply to anyone at all. A dom who acts the jerk or like the person already belongs to them when they haven't even met may deserve that, the one who is sincere doesn't.


Dude , the baby gets thrown out with the bath water hugely in places like this. Better they write you.

If you really want to point the finger-do it at the "masters" on the site who acts like such utter 'tards towards them.

(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 100
Page:   <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.108