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RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:03:08 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

why does it bother me!!!!! a little matter of professional standing and not wanting to blow it.. of not wanting to give blackmail or revenge material to a stranger. fuckin common sense i call it but thank most of you for your support.

Can you expand on that a bit? What do you mean by "professional standing"? What kind of professional standing is compromised by some idiot demanding things of you? And not wanting to blow what?

Or are you saying if you complied, then these would be an issue? But since you have no intention of complying, then back to square one... why does it bother you?

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)

Post #: 41

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:04:52 AM

ruthiexxxx

Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline

for me my hard limits are to guarantee my physical, professional and social wellbeing. there's no corner of my psyche i'm not prepared to explore...that's what i'm doing now. that's what i've done gradually in 25 years of analysis and personal growth work. if a Dom can unlock some overlooked cupboard in my mind then that would be wonderful for me and i shall face whatever is in it.
all i intend to do is protect myself out there in vanilla land....and so my hard limits are HARD!!

(in reply to ThunderRoad)

Post #: 42

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:06:18 AM

ruthiexxxx

Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

why does it bother me!!!!! a little matter of professional standing and not wanting to blow it.. of not wanting to give blackmail or revenge material to a stranger. fuckin common sense i call it but thank most of you for your support.

Can you expand on that a bit? What do you mean by "professional standing"? What kind of professional standing is compromised by some idiot demanding things of you? And not wanting to blow what?

Or are you saying if you complied, then these would be an issue? But since you have no intention of complying, then back to square one... why does it bother you?

Cali

it doesnt 'bother me'...i dont let things 'bother me'....i just make sure they dont happen!

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 43

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:08:32 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx
it doesnt 'bother me'...i dont let things 'bother me'....i just make sure they dont happen!

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx
why do i have to feel bad because i have a few shreds of sanity left

< Message edited by Justme696 -- 2/26/2008 9:13:14 AM >

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)

Post #: 44

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:10:32 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Now I'm confuzzled.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 45

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:11:53 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

OK, so your hard limits are... what? No pictures... but if someone meets with you they know more about you than a picture could ever tell them. No unprotected sex, yeah, thats not that big a deal to anyone serious about having more than just a sex-based relationship.
If hard limits are silly, then yes, I see them as a challenge. I work with a lot of beginners, and when they have hard limits that they have never even tried, then once I own them, I will ask them to try it once and if they STILL hate it it can be a limit. Sometimes you can be surprised by how much you actualy liked it.
Hard limits with reasons a re a bit different. Angel has several that are religious, and several others that are medical. I respect both and would never suggest he push those.

A dominant who is interested in YOU as a person will respect your limits, until at least you are owned and then he might ask you to push them for him. Anyone who has not yet claimed you, hel hasnt even MET you, has no place to be making demands. If they do, then you can always politely inform them that they are not your owner and if they insist on acting the way they are acting... they never will be. If that doesnt give them the clue, then they are no big loss.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)

Post #: 46

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:11:57 AM

ruthiexxxx

Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bitch2humiliate

ruthie... a little advice from someone with a very twisted humour !
next time you get a so called dom demanding a cam session, tell him that you WILL do it but you need to buy a cam first... that then gives you a little time to do the following....

1, send a few teasing emails back and forth with him..
2, arrange for a male friend to be there for the cam session!

when the time comes have a bit of trouble connecting (your finger over the lens!!!) so his turns on first... then when you have a good look at his face, your cam starts to work and there facing him all ready to play on cam is a man! i have done this a few times and every time i have laughed till i cried at the look on the poor blokes face

if its pictures he is seeking then do something similiar.... tell him you need to get them done which gives you the time to send a few naughty messages and google for the ugliest man you can find !!!

if a dom bitches and moans about your hard limits or sees them as a challenge in a negative way then send them a message back saying "I have just added another hard limit to my list...... talking to idiots like you!" and put them on block

after that you can be sure they wont bother you again! and it makes for entertainment for you...

love it,love it love it! i'll do just that...thanks

(in reply to bitch2humiliate)

Post #: 47

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:12:20 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Now I'm confuzzled.

Cali

lol I answered her remark with her own remark of the OP
find it some contradicting

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 48

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:14:41 AM

ruthiexxxx

Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx
it doesnt 'bother me'...i dont let things 'bother me'....i just make sure they dont happen!

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx
why do i have to feel bad because i have a few shreds of sanity left

maybe i should have dotted every I and crossed every T and said "Why am i SUPPOSED to feel bad"...i shall be more pedantic next time!

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 49

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:16:22 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx
it doesnt 'bother me'...i dont let things 'bother me'....i just make sure they dont happen!

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx
why do i have to feel bad because i have a few shreds of sanity left

maybe i should have dotted every I and crossed every T and said "Why am i SUPPOSED to feel bad"...i shall be more pedantic next time!

Neah don't do that for me..It is you who post and want reactions. No need to please me :)

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)

Post #: 50

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:23:04 AM

ruthiexxxx

Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx
it doesnt 'bother me'...i dont let things 'bother me'....i just make sure they dont happen!

OK....truce ? before we run out of brackets?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx
why do i have to feel bad because i have a few shreds of sanity left

maybe i should have dotted every I and crossed every T and said "Why am i SUPPOSED to feel bad"...i shall be more pedantic next time!

Neah don't do that for me..It is you who post and want reactions. No need to please me :)

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 51

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:29:49 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

FR

this doesn't even really seem to be about hard limits, it seems to be more of your frustration from the communications that you are getting with complete strangers. How can one expect them to respect your hard limits if they don't know you? There are always going to be more then a fair share of troglodytes that are going to throw as many spitballs on the walls as they can, hoping that a few will stick.

One can choose to get their knickers in a bunch each and every time they happen across an onager, or then can skip on their merry way, thankful that that particular specimin let himself be known and passed over fairly efficiently.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)

Post #: 52

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:31:46 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx
maybe i should have dotted every I and crossed every T and said "Why am i SUPPOSED to feel bad"...i shall be more pedantic next time!

Wait untill you meet Aswad...........lol

Jeff

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)

Post #: 53

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:35:16 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Wait! A new word. What does pedantic mean?

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 54

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:35:16 AM

ruthiexxxx

Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

FR

this doesn't even really seem to be about hard limits, it seems to be more of your frustration from the communications that you are getting with complete strangers. How can one expect them to respect your hard limits if they don't know you? There are always going to be more then a fair share of troglodytes that are going to throw as many spitballs on the walls as they can, hoping that a few will stick.

One can choose to get their knickers in a bunch each and every time they happen across an onager, or then can skip on their merry way, thankful that that particular specimin let himself be known and passed over fairly efficiently.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 55

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:37:47 AM

ruthiexxxx

Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

FR

this doesn't even really seem to be about hard limits, it seems to be more of your frustration from the communications that you are getting with complete strangers. How can one expect them to respect your hard limits if they don't know you? There are always going to be more then a fair share of troglodytes that are going to throw as many spitballs on the walls as they can, hoping that a few will stick.

One can choose to get their knickers in a bunch each and every time they happen across an onager, or then can skip on their merry way, thankful that that particular specimin let himself be known and passed over fairly efficiently.

oops
i wish it was just strangers...i'm quite happy telling them where to get off. no, it's a tendency i've noted in developing relationships....mainly,as i said, about compromising photos and safe sex

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)

Post #: 56

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:38:46 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

Ray? you don't have a comb fine enough for the hairs Aswad can split..:)

Jeff

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 57

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:45:45 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Is it just me, or is the OP trying to pick a fight with anyone who will talk to her?

I'm not hitting on you. I'll never meet you. I don't do chat rooms. At this point, I barely email women unless I already know them in some way. And I'll tell you straight up -- Calm the fuck down. Use common sense, not anger, and stop being attracted to men who treat you like shit.

I don't see anyone here to "blame" except for you, Ruth.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 58

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:47:04 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

Maybe it's just a bad day. I was one cranky mofo yesterday.

Jeff

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 59

RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:47:53 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

But you still made sense.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 60

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