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RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:50:17 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

FR

this doesn't even really seem to be about hard limits, it seems to be more of your frustration from the communications that you are getting with complete strangers.  How can one expect them to respect your hard limits if they don't know you?  There are always going to be more then a fair share of troglodytes that are going to throw as many spitballs on the walls as they can, hoping that a few will stick.

One can choose to get their knickers in a bunch each and every time they happen across an onager, or then can skip on their merry way, thankful that that particular specimin let himself be known and passed over fairly efficiently.


oops
i wish it was just strangers...i'm quite happy telling them where to get off.   no, it's a tendency i've noted in developing relationships....mainly,as i said, about compromising photos and safe sex



That's occured to me as well, and all I can say is that it's part of the weeding process.  It's hard to be patient when you know what you want, but if a man can't accept your boundries when you've stated the reasons why, do you really think that he's going to stop with those?

There are men out there who won't ask for lewd photos, and who won't even ask about your safe sex practices as they will use a condom no matter what you think about it.  It comes down to if you are willing to settle for a meantimer or stick to your guns for something that has a chance of lasting.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:51:55 AM   
ruthiexxxx


Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Is it just me, or is the OP trying to pick a fight with anyone who will talk to her?

I'm not hitting on you.  I'll never meet you.  I don't do chat rooms.  At this point, I barely email women unless I already know them in some way.  And I'll tell you straight up -- Calm the fuck down.  Use common sense, not anger, and stop being attracted to men who treat you like shit.

I don't see anyone here to "blame" except for you, Ruth.



where the hell did that come from??!!
i'm not blaming you or anyone else...i'm not angry
i just wish to make the point that 'hard limits' are there to be repected
now what the fuk is so  controversial about that

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:54:04 AM   
ruthiexxxx


Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

FR

this doesn't even really seem to be about hard limits, it seems to be more of your frustration from the communications that you are getting with complete strangers.  How can one expect them to respect your hard limits if they don't know you?  There are always going to be more then a fair share of troglodytes that are going to throw as many spitballs on the walls as they can, hoping that a few will stick.

One can choose to get their knickers in a bunch each and every time they happen across an onager, or then can skip on their merry way, thankful that that particular specimin let himself be known and passed over fairly efficiently.


oops
i wish it was just strangers...i'm quite happy telling them where to get off.   no, it's a tendency i've noted in developing relationships....mainly,as i said, about compromising photos and safe sex



That's occured to me as well, and all I can say is that it's part of the weeding process.  It's hard to be patient when you know what you want, but if a man can't accept your boundries when you've stated the reasons why, do you really think that he's going to stop with those?

There are men out there who won't ask for lewd photos, and who won't even ask about your safe sex practices as they will use a condom no matter what you think about it.  It comes down to if you are willing to settle for a meantimer or stick to your guns for something that has a chance of lasting.


thank you for a sensible answer to my point

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:55:23 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Maybe it's just a bad day. I was one cranky mofo yesterday.



It's a bad day for a few people. Hey, it happens to the best of us.

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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 9:58:20 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

why do i have to feel bad because i have a few shreds of sanity left



You don't. File them in the incompatable section and forget about them.

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:01:04 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Maybe it's just a bad day. I was one cranky mofo yesterday.



It's a bad day for a few people. Hey, it happens to the best of us.


It does but have to ask - why subject me to it?  I'm a nice girl.  I pay my taxes.  Why do I end up with a headache from doing this...  because other people are having a bad day?
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Profile   Post #: 66
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:01:27 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Is it just me, or is the OP trying to pick a fight with anyone who will talk to her?

I'm not hitting on you.  I'll never meet you.  I don't do chat rooms.  At this point, I barely email women unless I already know them in some way.  And I'll tell you straight up -- Calm the fuck down.  Use common sense, not anger, and stop being attracted to men who treat you like shit.

I don't see anyone here to "blame" except for you, Ruth.



where the hell did that come from??!!
i'm not blaming you or anyone else...i'm not angry
i just wish to make the point that 'hard limits' are there to be repected
now what the fuk is so  controversial about that

 I think it is the way you are coming across, there is a strident and aggressive tone to the posts you've made in this thread.

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:03:19 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

It does but have to ask - why subject me to it?  I'm a nice girl.  I pay my taxes.  Why do I end up with a headache from doing this...  because other people are having a bad day?
 
the.dark.


 
Nice cuppa tea  .

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 68
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:06:35 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx
it doesnt 'bother me'...i dont let things 'bother me'....i just make sure they dont happen!


OK....truce ? before we run out of brackets?


quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx
 why do i have to feel bad because i have a few shreds of sanity left


maybe i should have dotted every I and crossed every T   and said   "Why am i SUPPOSED to feel bad"...i shall be more pedantic next time!



Neah don't do that for me..It is you who post and want reactions. No need to please me :)




truce?  I am not trying to fight :) but ok
I am just curious why an opinion or a thought changes.


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(in reply to ruthiexxxx)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:07:07 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bigdom59

Sometimes we Doms/Dommes make bad decisions with good intentions. It is a Doms/Dommes responsiblity to respect HIS/HER subs limits. That being said sometimes Doms/Dommes want the sub to experience more things and want her to Grow in her experience. IMO Hard limits should always be respected. At the Same time the sub needs to trust her dom/domme 100%. I myself have had the experience of subs setting a hard limit because the HEARD bad things about something and had never experienced. What I did was tell her try it once if you don't like it then it goes back on the hard limit list. We as Doms/Dommes must always respect our subs and slaves


Very well stated, thanks. I also want to point out that we as subs, and I include myself in this, have to realize too that we have to understand that or Dom is trying to help us to grow as their sub and as a person. More often, our "hard" limits are based upon a fear or inexperience. We need to see that in most cases, our Doms do have our best interests at heart yet their interests do come first. Yes, Doms must always respect our limits and we in turn, must give that respect back to our Doms.


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(in reply to bigdom59)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:11:25 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Someone has to pay!!........

Jeff

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:11:47 AM   
ruthiexxxx


Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Is it just me, or is the OP trying to pick a fight with anyone who will talk to her?

I'm not hitting on you.  I'll never meet you.  I don't do chat rooms.  At this point, I barely email women unless I already know them in some way.  And I'll tell you straight up -- Calm the fuck down.  Use common sense, not anger, and stop being attracted to men who treat you like shit.

I don't see anyone here to "blame" except for you, Ruth.



where the hell did that come from??!!
i'm not blaming you or anyone else...i'm not angry
i just wish to make the point that 'hard limits' are there to be repected
now what the fuk is so  controversial about that

 I think it is the way you are coming across, there is a strident and aggressive tone to the posts you've made in this thread.


if it's aggressive to say,politely and repeatedly, that i dont want to get AIDS or be blackmailed then i'll have to own up to being savagely angry and aggressive.
but i'm only trying gently to make a point/
why all the aggro?

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:13:53 AM   
ruthiexxxx


Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline 		does anyone remember that fil "Anger Management"....it's a well known technique

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:14:48 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		I think we all already answered..that hard limits are holy

quote:

does anyone remember that fil "Anger Management"....it's a well known technique


use it


< Message edited by Justme696 -- 2/26/2008 10:15:37 AM >

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~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:15:24 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Someone has to pay!!........

Jeff


In kind?
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:15:50 AM   
ruthiexxxx


Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline 		thank you...i appreciate that

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:17:52 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

thank you...i appreciate that


no problem, but you should learn to filter opinions on here..and not all see them as personal.
It is hard..I know..but people not always tell you what they want to hear. And we also understand that can make you pissed.
We post just inhere..to help...not to piss eachother off

(and the anger management remark was not needed)


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:20:15 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

if it's aggressive to say,politely and repeatedly, that i dont want to get AIDS or be blackmailed then i'll have to own up to being savagely angry and aggressive.
but i'm only trying gently to make a point/
why all the aggro?



No aggro - you are aggressive in these posts is what camille was suggesting, as we have no idea how you respond to emails or requests etc.
 
But 'we'(generic) have seen this all before.  People bemoaning the mails they get, being emotional, ranting like it means something to us because of the person posting.  However we don't know you and the majority really don't care what you get or how you react.  The simple solution is to block or ignore people who do not meet your requirements and not allow them to infect you by annoying you.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:27:11 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

where the hell did that come from??!!
i'm not blaming you or anyone else...i'm not angry
i just wish to make the point that 'hard limits' are there to be repected
now what the fuk is so  controversial about that

 I think it is the way you are coming across, there is a strident and aggressive tone to the posts you've made in this thread.





_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: 'hard limits?' - 2/26/2008 10:29:27 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I can see that this post came apart. So someone answer my question. OP you posted the word . What does it mean.

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Profile   Post #: 80
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