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Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:20:26 PM   
DogGoneBad


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/25/2008
Status: offline 		I've been debating about laying down an ultimatum or ending things.  The issue this is over is one that I can not deal with anymore.  She is aware that I have a problem over this issue.  I thought the issue was resolved on her end. Last night during a phone conversation she brought up the fact it was still going on.

If I make the decision to end things, it will be final.  There will be no second chances or turning back.  If I lay down an ultimatum it gives her one last opportunity or chance. 

I can not press forward in the relationship as long as this is still going on.  In fact, I will end up emotionally detaching from her.  She has not taken this issue as a serious matter.

< Message edited by DogGoneBad -- 12/3/2008 3:21:26 PM >
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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:22:17 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		More information required.  Please elucidate. 
  Davan

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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:23:30 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Wow - you are upset - and if what i am reading is right, then you have cause. If you have an issue in a relationship that has been addressed - apparently to resolution - and then renigged on, with no apparent remorse or willing to resolve it, and it is a deal breaker, and the other party knows this, then yes, an ultimatum would be the way to go.

Good luck.

(in reply to DogGoneBad)
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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:25:23 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Honestly, this is not said to be mean.... but who is her Master?  You or us?
 
John

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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:27:02 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		Rover....be nice.

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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:28:18 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
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quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

Rover....be nice.


I'm trying awfully hard, but isn't that a rather fundamental perspective to place on questions like this? 
 
John

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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:29:01 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

I can not press forward in the relationship as long as this is still going on. In fact, I will end up emotionally detaching from her. She has not taken this issue as a serious matter.

Two thoughts.....

1. You most definitely CAN "press forward"--what do you think you have been doing all along?

2. People don't detach emotionally over "serious matters". They detach over the trivial ones.

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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:30:57 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		Dear John...
People need to vent. Even the most domliest of dominants...such as yourself (altho i would need to search for you venting and i bet the server may have "somehow" eaten that morsel of truth)
Actually i have been dying to say that for a looooong time. Tonite was your nite...Thank you for playing along. *smooches the Domliest of all Dominants*

perse
(she knows cuz she perved you last nite)

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:31:30 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		Is this related to the other thread??

(in reply to DogGoneBad)
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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:32:54 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Honestly, this is not said to be mean.... but who is her Master?  You or us?

That's a bit mean  I reckon one of the cool things bout message boards is that you can vent to anonymous people, kinda use them as a sounding board to sort things out in your own mind. No wrongs or rights with using them, or what you use them for. Man some of the emotional babble I've poured out on here...

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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:32:56 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		Umm....Did you just call him Dear John?

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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:35:25 PM   
DogGoneBad


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
Honestly, this is not said to be mean.... but who is her Master?  You or us?
 
John

This is a new relationship.  I did express my expectation already, this is why I debate about ending it instead of giving an ultimatum.

(in reply to Rover)
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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:36:46 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DogGoneBad
This is a new relationship.  I did express my expectation already, this is why I debate about ending it instead of giving an ultimatum.

Simple question: You give her the ultimatum. Will she respect it?

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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:37:01 PM   
DogGoneBad


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2
Is this related to the other thread??

No it is not.

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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:38:53 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DogGoneBad

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2
Is this related to the other thread??

No it is not.


Ok, sorry about that.  It sounded like you could have been the other side of that story.

Anyway.... it's hard to comment without having the gist of what the situation is.

(in reply to DogGoneBad)
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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:41:25 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Personally, I feel everyone has the right to rant and rave if they wish. It shouldn't be limited to  not Doms either.  Rover's comment might have been seen as mean, but to be honest that was mild compare to some of the others remarks I have seen on other threads.  He just politely gave his opinion and didn't come battling with his ego. 


I can not tell the OP what to do either, because it would make no sense. Just taking his post as a rant.

oceanwynds

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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:41:57 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

Dear John...
People need to vent. Even the most domliest of dominants...such as yourself (altho i would need to search for you venting and i bet the server may have "somehow" eaten that morsel of truth)
Actually i have been dying to say that for a looooong time. Tonite was your nite...Thank you for playing along. *smooches the Domliest of all Dominants*

perse
(she knows cuz she perved you last nite)


Puhleeeze.... I utterly reject any portrayal of me as anything other than average.  It's easy to have an unrealistic perception of someone via the internet, which is limited in its ability to adequately convey us in all our complexities.
 
John

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"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:42:29 PM   
DogGoneBad


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112
quote:

ORIGINAL: DogGoneBad
This is a new relationship.  I did express my expectation already, this is why I debate about ending it instead of giving an ultimatum.

Simple question: You give her the ultimatum. Will she respect it?

I suspect she will honor it.  I suspect she will become resentful.  I know if I end things that she will take it bad.  If it continues onward like this, I'm going to become resentful.

(in reply to celticlord2112)
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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:45:15 PM   
DogGoneBad


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/25/2008
Status: offline 		This is not a rant.  I'm rather somber about this.

(in reply to DogGoneBad)
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RE: Ultimatum or end it - 12/3/2008 3:46:58 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DogGoneBad

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112
quote:

ORIGINAL: DogGoneBad
This is a new relationship.  I did express my expectation already, this is why I debate about ending it instead of giving an ultimatum.

Simple question: You give her the ultimatum. Will she respect it?

I suspect she will honor it.  I suspect she will become resentful.  I know if I end things that she will take it bad.  If it continues onward like this, I'm going to become resentful.

I suspect you have your answer on what to do.

What comes next is your choice.

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