quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

did you ask her why she couldn't bring herself to do it? If she was humiliated by her family/peers for her poor voice, she may well have a block against it.

I'd sing to him if he asked, but he would have to give me a sheet with the lyrics because I don't know any songs. And I would have to be assured he wouldn't make fun of my voice. My kids object to me singing in the shower, I'm that offkey.

You don't know anything about her, seems you put the cart before the horse in deciding she was your new slave this early. Next time get to know someone, let them come to trust you if what they have to tell you is something that hurts them to reveal.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

This is a new slave to you... you claim her as your slave and yet becasue she has a struggle with something you are ready to ditch the rest of the trip? That would only add to her fears or whatever is causing her to hold back. What happened to the dominant assisting, building up and guiding? What does dominant mean to you?

You want me to go easy on ya? Am I being fair to be so demanding in expecting you to understand what a dominant is or can be and how damaging we can be if we let little things like that to toss away someone we have claimed? Maybe you ought to think about that... as you are being very harsh and hard on her and you aren't doing her any favor's.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

Using a hammer to force open a glass jar and experience the contents usually breaks it. A sadist (as a subset of narcissism) will lack empathy and not care what their partner feels. A sadist seeks a partner who enjoys getting broken.

If you care, you need to dig deeper into yourself and find your own empathy, which you can then apply to how she feels (not what she thinks).

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

This is a new slave to you... you claim her as your slave and yet becasue she has a struggle with something you are ready to ditch the rest of the trip? That would only add to her fears or whatever is causing her to hold back. What happened to the dominant assisting, building up and guiding? What does dominant mean to you?

You want me to go easy on ya? Am I being fair to be so demanding in expecting you to understand what a dominant is or can be and how damaging we can be if we let little things like that to toss away someone we have claimed? Maybe you ought to think about that... as you are being very harsh and hard on her and you aren't doing her any favor's.

Are we reading the same the same post? The slave did not say she could not sing, the slave said nothing of humiliation or offered any other reasonable explanation, nor did she apologize for not being able to comply. The OP did not tell her that she must sing it well, the OP did not place her infront of a group of people. The slave simply told her no she would not do it

quote:

I need advise.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

I think you are making too big a deal of it honey. Is it vital to the relationship that she sing to you? If not...don't throw away a good thing for a silly request.

So it is you belief that submissive should get to chose which commands she wishes to obey?

A submissive yes, a submissive has a right to choose. a woman who does not ID as a slave, a woman who is "vanilla" with D/s interests. Yeah she has a right to say no to an order.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx
Using a hammer to force open a glass jar and experience the contents usually breaks it. A sadist (as a subset of narcissism) will lack empathy and not care what their partner feels. A sadist seeks a partner who enjoys getting broken.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
So, that being said, by the time we would be riding in the car, and I was referring to her as MY slave.......the singing would not be an issue. Regardless of cool, uncool, humiliating, or whatever. She would be singing or returning back where she came from pronto.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I think that there was too much jumping in with both feet and not enough, getting to know one another, communication, "what does xxx mean to YOU?" type of thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

I see two very different issues here. A "slave" disobeying her "master" AND a young couple, neither with the experience needed to even negotiate a TPE, much less live it (although the dominant is clearly motivated in that direction).

In my BDSM world, the slave obeys her master. Not just when it's cool, or she feels like it, or wants to. Always. There should at least be an attempt, and a proper exclamation as to why the attempt was not successful. However, I have to add, a dominant should never (or hardly ever) give a slave a command he is not sure she will obey. (Like a lawyer should never ask a question in court he does not know the answer to). To do so just makes you look ineffectual and foolish. 

If you do give such a command, you should be prepared with what you will do if it is not obeyed. And in my BDSM world, if a slave outright disobeys her master, both have some serious soul searching to do. It's been my experience that many new and inexperience dominants do this as a means of testing the slave's devotion. I suspect the OP has done this often. Contantly testing a slave's devotion is a good way to lose that slave. You want to lead your slave in such a way so she that she can succeed, not fail.

And it seems the the OP has expected a great deal of this girl in a very short time. Which nicely brings me to the second point. In our instant gratification society, it is not surprising that so many think you can make an instant slave. You can't. Someone may pretend to be your slave for a time, really it's not the same thing. No matter how the dynamic starts out, once a person agrees to being a slave, there should be a period of adjustment. Because in a non-pretend TPE dynamic, you are going to need that.

Admittedly, in a situation where someone has been your sub for three years, the transition to slave might be rather seamless. In this situation of two young inexperienced people, a longer period of adjustment is needed. Mileage will of course, vary.

Just my strong and never humble opinion.

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
This post says much less about her commitment as your slave, to your collar and her submission to you as her Master, than it says a great deal about your lack of experience, ability and Mastery.