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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 10:41:35 AM   
subtee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

He has a splendid head of hair, a sunny countenance, a love of the hop and a beautiful soul.

I think I'm wet!


Jeff


Ward,

After all these years, I find THIS out?!?!?

June



The whole thing is dreadful. Domiguy's the Easter Bunny?

disappointee

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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 10:46:08 AM   
domiguy


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The moisture flows both ways. 

When I walked into the bar and first laid eyes on the lad I couldn't help but think I was looking at some divine creature handcrafted by God himself. It was as if Michealangelo had been sent back to personally chisel his features.

I wept.

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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 10:47:41 AM   
mnottertail


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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApXPd4WSP24

just do it like chubby

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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 10:48:56 AM   
domiguy


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I have a feeling that Mr Zero is not going to like the avenue this thread has taken.


Jeffff, are you the op?

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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 10:52:12 AM   
Jeffff


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Yes, and I am sorry I painted you in such a horrible light. Can you forgive me?



Jeff

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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 10:55:38 AM   
LaTigresse


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Jefffff, we need to get you Kramer's coat of many colours and a fur fedora.Oh, and a jeweled cane.


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/22/2010 10:56:01 AM >


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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 10:55:50 AM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Yes, and I am sorry I painted you in such a horrible light. Can you forgive me?



Jeff


As long as you are willing to pimp him out


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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 10:57:34 AM   
domiguy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MyOtherProfile2

She said she needs a week, give or take, and I said that's fine. In a week I will summon her back and we'll sit down and discuss the best way to proceed from here. I was able to make her laugh and laughter always heals.




Jeff standing tall and barking orders...
"I summon you back!!!"...."I summon you back!!!"...."I summon you back!!!"......

"Oh Domi please, oh Domi please, come back ...I 'm really sorry I tried to prostitute you out....Please take me back...please take me back!!!!"

< Message edited by domiguy -- 1/22/2010 11:04:04 AM >


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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 11:00:44 AM   
domiguy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Yes, and I am sorry I painted you in such a horrible light. Can you forgive me?



Jeff


You fly off to Vegas a couple of times on a whim and all of a sudden you are manic with an insatiable appetite for whoredom.

Jefff, they were business trips. 

If I ever walk out of the shower again to find a film crew waiting we shall have words.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 1/22/2010 11:01:08 AM >


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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 11:05:56 AM   
Jeffff


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It is good that we had this talk my domibear. Communication is so important!


Your Sweet Prince

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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 11:18:43 AM   
Jeffff


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When the only sound in the empty street,
Is the heavy tread of the heavy feet
That belong to a lonesome cop
I open shop.
When the moon so long has been gazing down
On the wayward ways of this wayward town.
That her smile becomes a smirk,
I go to work.
Love for sale,
Appetising young love for sale.
Love that's fresh and still unspoiled,
Love that's only slightly soiled,
Love for sale.
Who will buy?
Who would like to sample my supply?
Who's prepared to pay the price,
For a trip to paradise?
Love for sale
Let the poets pipe of love
in their childish way,
I know every type of love
Better far than they.
If you want the thrill of love,
I've been through the mill of love;
Old love, new love
Every love but true love
Love for sale.
Appetising young love for sale.
If you want to buy my wares.
Follow me and climb the stairs
Love for sale.
Love for sale.

Cole Porter

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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 12:08:30 PM   
NihilusZero


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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I have a feeling that Mr Zero is not going to like the avenue this thread has taken.

Your wit is not an issue I have had with your posts, actually. At very least, it always makes your points entertaining (which is more than I can say for the other fellow).

Pertinent tidbits from other posts:

- I was saying you shouldn't put yourself in "his shoes" (in the way you laid out) specifically because to be able to do so to any useful purpose involves more objectivity than seems likely for you on this topic.

- If you wanted to get yourself tested right away after involving yourself with a whore, you'd likely be making a relatively smart decision. Unless she was a high-class sex worker or porn star, in which case they're less likely to have something than the chick you'll pick up at the bar.

- While choosing to discount "prostitutes, drug abusers, addicts or the mentally ill" from your dating pool is certainly your prerogative (and I'd probably agree), it does discount close to half of the human population in one way or another...and for reasons that don't necessarily have much to do with their capacity as relationship partners at all.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 1/22/2010 12:11:27 PM >


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I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 2:37:04 PM   
MyOtherProfile2


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I'm posting from my phone so expect a shit ton of typos.

Domiguy, not every prostitute/escort/hooker is some dirty, VD ifested backalley crackwhore giving $20 Bjs in the back of cars. Some escorts are very beautiful, high class women who only deal with high class clients, make solid six figure incomes and enjoy being flown to the words most exotic places, sleeping in the finer hotels and enjoying the finest wines while "on duty". Last I checked lots of women like sleeping with rich and powerful men ANYWAY so if one wants to fly her into into Paris, take her to an upscale restaurant and bang the shit out her and PAY her $5K plus expenses for that, well, I don't see anything dirty or morally wrong with that, at least not any moreso than the activities we kinksters participate in already. In these circles most of the clients aren't gross desperate men but rather wealthy and/or powerful men who don't hav te time or patience (and perhaps not the flirting skills) to go to a bar, approach modelesque women, find one he connects with, get her number and then call her later for a date. When wealthy men want to fuck models and pornstars, they pick up the phone and call the escort agency. A lot of erotic dancers (who typically are only that) will occasionally have a nice dressed man with a fat pocketbook come in one night and ask her if she wants to come home withhim. She thinks "totally" and then he puts $2K on the table. Should she then refuse? In actuality, these types are basically golddiggers who prefer to be honest, forthright and like their money upfront instead of the backend. I consider these women to be of a higher ethical standard than the goldigging model/actresses that littler my favorite L.A. hangouts with hidden monetary agendas (I should know, I've banged enough o them sadly).

In fact, next time you visit Vegas, take a look around. You'll notice a lot of wealthy looking older gentleman with young, beautiful vivacious women. Based on your stated preconceptions you'd probably assume trophywife. You'd be wrong. They're callgirls. And if you watch them they'll be more likely to remind you of Jessica alba (with big fake boobs) in stlyle, class and energy than you're stereotype of a typical "whore".

My girl is high class stuff. In her previous month of work she netted around $12k and all she had to do was laugh at some jokes, drink some fine wine and fuck (all things she LOVES doing anyway). Many of her clients are guys she said she would hit on in a bad or club anyway (they were attractive, clean and cool). Safety and cleanliness were always of the utmost importance (she can refuse service at any time) and she always used extra protection.

This all started when we were discussing swinging and me sharing her. We talked about that a lot until one day she mentioned that dong what were already wanted to do could triple our combined income while halving our work hours (with her "work" hours being spent doing soemthing she loves to do). Obviously the closer we got to making it a reality things changed but the situation is not like you think it is ("hey, i'm a whore!" "great let's date and make money!"). I didn't push her into this initially, I didn't even take it that seriously until I kept getting texts from her asking me to "put her to work". I didpush a bit oncethe ball was rolling and money and time had been spent.

Ok, I've already exceeded my phone typing quota, I'll address other posts when i get home from work.

< Message edited by MyOtherProfile2 -- 1/22/2010 3:23:49 PM >

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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 3:23:12 PM   
mc1234


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OP, I can't help feeling that this woman is wrapping you around her little finger. What her motives may be, I don't know, but very little about her rings true. I think that's the most mild comment I can make at the moment.

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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 5:00:14 PM   
Elisabella


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quote:

- While choosing to discount "prostitutes, drug abusers, addicts or the mentally ill" from your dating pool is certainly your prerogative (and I'd probably agree), it does discount close to half of the human population in one way or another...and for reasons that don't necessarily have much to do with their capacity as relationship partners at all.


He does that already, presuming he's heterosexual.

As an ex-drug addicted party kid I can say that I would never date an addict, nor would I date someone "in recovery" (12-step program) and that's just a personal thing. I don't think they are *at the core bad people* but I do think they are making really bad choices if they're an addict, they're bringing themselves down, and all I can do is hope they get past it.

My reasons for not dating 12 steppers are pretty much the same reasons I don't date Scientologists. It creeps me out how they can just parrot other people's ideas. I say I'm an ex-addict because that's what I am - someone who at one point did a lot of drugs, got addicted to them, and then quit them. I'm not denying that 12 steps help a lot of people, and I think it's great that they do, but I just am not attracted to that mentality.

As far as prostitution goes, I think my view of the person would depend on the type of prostitution. I would have a grudging sort of respect for a high class call girl...kinda like Bill Gates. I can't stand what he does but I respect the fact that he's damn good at it. But a streetwalker trying to pay the bills because of a series of bad life choices she made...well...when I'm in a sentimental mood I'll feel sorry for her. That's about as far as I'll go.

Regarding mental illness - I think that diagnosis gets thrown around a lot more than it should, and what matters is how it affects their life. Anyone in a western country could go to a psychologist and they would find *something* wrong. So I take it with a grain of salt, if there are no voices in the head or multipersonalities or wasting away in bed for a week from chemical inbalance depression, then I just see it as a part of "personality" rather than "mental illness."

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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 6:49:59 PM   
MyOtherProfile2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mc1234

Please tell me you're joking about the punishment thread???



Half joking. We did establish previously that punishments would be a part of our dynamic as she is of the resilient "put me in my place" type. I've learned emotional disconnection is not an option and in hindsight I picked the worst possible time to administer it. That doesn't mean I should refrain from punishments. One time I didn't allow her in my bed and made her sleep at the foot on the floor (this was for lying). She both loved it and realized I meant business (she certainly doesn't want to spend EVERY night like this). I have to figure out a way to accomplish the same thing when we're apart.

That's not to say I don't realize the much bigger problem is her general disobedience. Any great leader will tell you the way to lead is through understanding and inspiration, not intolerance and dictatorship. I agree and I know I have to figure out a better way to inspire her submission and obedience.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DontLookBack

and there's the test....I think you hit it right on the head, the only thing about it would be the response when she approached with it, perhaps the answer she was looking for was more like "Hell no! you are a whore but you are MY whore, I will decide who you fuck, when you fuck, or if you fuck at all, not some escort agency"


I WAS the escort agency. Part of the kink was that I was telling her who/when/where to fuck and that she did it for my gain (really our gain as we share all benefits but that doesn't moisten her cunt as much as the thought of everything benefitting me.)

As it stands now she is no longer a whore which puts a bit of a dent in our degradation play... (half kidding)

Also, I think she said something to the effect that she wanted monogamy, at least regarding other men. I hope I understood that wrong as I don't like monogamy. I want to share her body. I'll find out for sure soon. If she decides sharing is a hard limit I will have to decided if that's a compromise I can accept.


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ


quote:

ORIGINAL: MyOtherProfile2


Part of our deal for her to talk to me is that the content not be too heavy so I didn't approach the subjects of what happened and why.

I have a feeling I'll be making a thread about appropriate methods of punishment in the near future (under my real profile name). Watch for it ;)



I am hoping that the part I bolded is one of the things you are both going to change.
It doesn't matter whose decision that was but you can't have any kind of truly meaningful relationship if you aren't willing or able to talk about the "heavy" things.

As for punishment, it is my observation that in the more successful relationships here, punishment is a rare occurance.

Is it possible that she does not follow through on your requests because being your weekend submissive is really what she desires?
As for the tasks themselves, perhaps the 2 of you need to discuss willingness.


She has been fairly ill with a constant pounding headache and hasn't really been able to do much productive thinking. I agreed we shouldn't get too deep until she's had some real time do do some hard thinking. I will set the precedent in the future that the heavier subjects are to be addressed immediately and not put on the backburner to cause damage down the road.

You may be right in that at the time being she is not ready for a 24/7 dynamic. It's definitely the goal but it could be too soon. I thought about this before and it will be one of the first things we talk about.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy


quote:

ORIGINAL: MyOtherProfile2

As it turns out she tends to go on emotional retreats without telling anyone. It's just something she does.



First, I'm glad you are feeling better about the situation and I wish you luck.

BUT . . . the bit I excerpted above is still setting off alarm sirens in my head. Going on emotional retreats without telling anyone indicates to me that she is emotionally unstable and selfish (not telling anyone always causes worry--if she has done this before, she KNOWS this--in other words, she's manipulating you). "It's just something she does" is a lame excuse for bad behavior.


It IS a lame excuse and I told her so. I told her it will not be tolerated in the future and that if she ever needs another emotional retreat it will be by request and must be supported with a reason as well as parameters. Obviously I would always allow her her private time as long as I know why she needs it and how long.


quote:

ORIGINAL: mc1234

OP, I can't help feeling that this woman is wrapping you around her little finger. What her motives may be, I don't know, but very little about her rings true. I think that's the most mild comment I can make at the moment.


I can understand how it may look that way based on the slice of information available here. I assure you this is not the case. She knows who is ultimately in charge. She does have a history of topping from the bottom with her past relationships and we've talked about stamping this desire/habit out but it doesn't happen overnight.

Also, sometimes the D/s dynamic has to be thrown back into 1st gear and two people must act as loving, supportive partners first. If a sub/slave was sick and bed ridden with a fever would you still make her cook your dinner, change your socks and suck your cock? I would hope not. She's experiencing some acute emotional fragility right now and being "SuperDom" isn't the answer. I may be helping her and giving her what she needs but she knows I do this because I care for her and choose to give her my generosity and because it makes her a better sub which benefits me in the long run.

< Message edited by MyOtherProfile2 -- 1/22/2010 7:07:56 PM >

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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 7:01:44 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MyOtherProfile2


ORIGINAL: mc1234

Please tell me you're joking about the punishment thread???



Half joking. We did establish that punishments would be a part of our dynamic as she is of the resilient "put me in my place" type. "


Thank you for answering.

You may find it better to work punishments into your relationship as you get to know one another better. Sometimes someone taking control before the baseline work is done to solidfy the relationship pushes the submissive away rather than drawing her closer.

We don't have a punishment/rules sort of dynamic, but recently I did something wrong, and E didn't talk with me at night the way he usually does. I knew I'd screwed up and upset him and that it had to be dealt with, but he wasn't ready to talk. I knew he wasn't abandoning me. I knew he was just taking a time-out and even though it was a hard night, I knew things would be ok. But this was after a year of our relationship, and trust has built to the extent that I could rely on that knowing, and in truth my greatest lesson from my screw-up was that he won't turn from me. I knew it, inside, but then his actions backed it up. But that takes time.

< Message edited by mc1234 -- 1/22/2010 7:02:07 PM >


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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 7:12:56 PM   
MyOtherProfile2


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Joined: 1/20/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mc1234

quote:

ORIGINAL: MyOtherProfile2


ORIGINAL: mc1234

Please tell me you're joking about the punishment thread???



Half joking. We did establish that punishments would be a part of our dynamic as she is of the resilient "put me in my place" type. "


Thank you for answering.

You may find it better to work punishments into your relationship as you get to know one another better. Sometimes someone taking control before the baseline work is done to solidfy the relationship pushes the submissive away rather than drawing her closer.

We don't have a punishment/rules sort of dynamic, but recently I did something wrong, and E didn't talk with me at night the way he usually does. I knew I'd screwed up and upset him and that it had to be dealt with, but he wasn't ready to talk. I knew he wasn't abandoning me. I knew he was just taking a time-out and even though it was a hard night, I knew things would be ok. But this was after a year of our relationship, and trust has built to the extent that I could rely on that knowing, and in truth my greatest lesson from my screw-up was that he won't turn from me. I knew it, inside, but then his actions backed it up. But that takes time.


I agree completely. I can see now we threw too much into the pot too soon. I told her while it may be a bit boring that we need to scale back the D/s dynamic a bit and start out more vanilla and really get to know each other on an emotionally intimate level. Also, we must establish a deeply planted trust. I have to say I do worry that scaling back the sexuality of our relationship to make room for intellectual and emotional connection may lessen the primal attraction we have for each other. Any thoughts on this?

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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 7:42:58 PM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

scaling back the sexuality of our relationship to make room for intellectual and emotional connection may lessen the primal attraction we have for each other.


It does not work that way for me, the more interest a man has in what is between my ears, the wetter I get between my thighs... in fact if they take little interest in my brain I tend to lose my heat right quick


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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 7:44:34 PM   
NihilusZero


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

As an ex-drug addicted party kid I can say that I would never date an addict, nor would I date someone "in recovery" (12-step program) and that's just a personal thing. I don't think they are *at the core bad people* but I do think they are making really bad choices if they're an addict, they're bringing themselves down, and all I can do is hope they get past it.

We're doing the convenient thing and discounting nicotine as an addiction, right?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

My reasons for not dating 12 steppers are pretty much the same reasons I don't date Scientologists. It creeps me out how they can just parrot other people's ideas. I say I'm an ex-addict because that's what I am - someone who at one point did a lot of drugs, got addicted to them, and then quit them. I'm not denying that 12 steps help a lot of people, and I think it's great that they do, but I just am not attracted to that mentality.

Meh. 12-stepping is another topic altogether. Not my cup of tea either, but, again, I'm not saying scientologists somehow are poorer relationship partners (actually, I probably would say that...but that's a different issue that just being a 12-stepper or an addict of something).

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

As far as prostitution goes, I think my view of the person would depend on the type of prostitution. I would have a grudging sort of respect for a high class call girl...kinda like Bill Gates. I can't stand what he does but I respect the fact that he's damn good at it. But a streetwalker trying to pay the bills because of a series of bad life choices she made...well...when I'm in a sentimental mood I'll feel sorry for her. That's about as far as I'll go.

That has nothing to do with the prostitution, though, and all to do with her life-state. It just happens that if you're female, you can nearly always fall back on using your body to make a decent penny if everything else falls apart. In those cases, it's a product of the problem, not a catalyst to it. Which is precisely why, in even the worst scenario, those screaming "She's a paid whore! There must be something wrong with her!" are completely missing the point as it flies over their heads.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

Regarding mental illness - I think that diagnosis gets thrown around a lot more than it should, and what matters is how it affects their life. Anyone in a western country could go to a psychologist and they would find *something* wrong. So I take it with a grain of salt, if there are no voices in the head or multipersonalities or wasting away in bed for a week from chemical inbalance depression, then I just see it as a part of "personality" rather than "mental illness."

Which is why using that word to discount someone is rather pointless.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 1/22/2010 7:52:36 PM >


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees


NihilusZero.com

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Profile   Post #: 120
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