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Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 8:33:31 AM

MellowSir

Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

First and foremost, this is NOT a post critical of the sincere sub that searches. Enough of the excuses already, such as "I get too many messages to answer them all"(Then don't advertise and expect not to), "I'm taken"(then why list as seeking), etc etc. Not all that difficult to type "I'm interested" or "no thanks" and click reply. Even if the sub is not interested, does that have to equal a lack of courtesy by not replying at all? Why even allow the double standard or prolong the use of it. I at least take the time to respond to someone who takes the time to message me. Maybe the expectations are a bit too high on the professed "sub's" part if she/he is just there and doesn't reply to anyone at all. A dom who acts the jerk or like the person already belongs to them when they haven't even met may deserve that, the one who is sincere doesn't.

Post #: 1

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 8:37:03 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

I just love doms who complain about how others do things.
It's so appealing.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 4/21/2007 8:39:25 AM >

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 2

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 8:38:22 AM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings mellow,

i would recommend taking non-response as a "no, thank you," and moving along. it will save you a good bit of unnecessary mulling over this, because unfortunately it's not likely to change anytime soon.

that said, i AM taken and seeking friends, play partners, and possible dates, so i do list myself as seeking even though i am collared, and i do put in a little information about how i rarely chat in real time due to lack of time/energy, and how i sometimes take awhile to respond to messages. i don't think those are excuses; i work full time, go to school full time, and have debilitating chronic pain and fatigue. the reality is that sustained real time chat for sizeable periods of time just isn't as comfortable or feasible for me now as it was, say, two or three years ago when i actually used to sign onto yahoo regularly...and half the time when i read messages the first time, i'm either not in a position where i can respond (on my way out the door) or not making enough sense to respond. i don't think it's fair to write off all of those messages as "excuses." they may be, but for some of us, they are very valid excuses.

annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 3

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 8:59:44 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

First and foremost, this is NOT a post critical of the sincere sub that searches. Enough of the excuses already, such as "I get too many messages to answer them all"(Then don't advertise and expect not to), "I'm taken"(then why list as seeking), etc etc. Not all that difficult to type "I'm interested" or "no thanks" and click reply. Even if the sub is not interested, does that have to equal a lack of courtesy by not replying at all? Why even allow the double standard or prolong the use of it. I at least take the time to respond to someone who takes the time to message me. Maybe the expectations are a bit too high on the professed "sub's" part if she/he is just there and doesn't reply to anyone at all. A dom who acts the jerk or like the person already belongs to them when they haven't even met may deserve that, the one who is sincere doesn't.

In this world random strangers rarely order their lives to please us

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 4

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:06:33 AM

Stazia

Posts: 49
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

hello i am new on here but i thought i just might want to put my two cents in. the reason why i don't respond to emails or chat request is that a good chunk of the mail i get does not meet my requirments in what i am looking for, and the people sending them do not give me a good vibe. i am not saying that this fits you, but say i am not looking for a man who is say over the age of fourty, and i state in my profile that i am not looking for a man old enough to be my father, and someone who is fifty emails me why should i bother responding. and also there are a lot of creepy guys out there. (yet again i am not saying that this is you i am just giving you an insight as to why someone might not bother to email you back) and the way i look at it is that i don't want to give them an inch in. just like in real life when some weirdo hits on me i dont give him the time of day . i find that i personally feel "safer" if i am the one who starts the dialogue. the conversation starts on my terms. i am a sub but there are many men who would take advantage of that and someone who is too forceful initially give me warning bells that he isnt really interested in getting to know who i am and just wanting a quick cum by pics or talking dirty. anyway i wish you the best of luck finding a good sub out there!

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 5

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:07:47 AM

MellowSir

Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

I'm not complaining about how others do things, just that fakes and players of either persuasion have no busininess wasting the time of sincere people.....

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 6

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:09:35 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

I don't answer a lot of mail and I'm not fake.

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 7

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:10:30 AM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

I'm not complaining about how others do things, just that fakes and players of either persuasion have no busininess wasting the time of sincere people.....

you are assuming that people who do certain things are fakes and players here to waste your time. that IS complaining about how others do things.

annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 8

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:10:39 AM

MellowSir

Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

And thanks to those who reply, both to me and to the post. "A man of words and not deeds is like a garden full of weeds", perhaps such can be applied to (some)women as well lol....

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 9

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:12:39 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

It is comical to see this petty whining coming from someone who fancies himself as being mellow.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 4/21/2007 9:14:43 AM >

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 10

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:14:06 AM

MellowSir

Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

We all make assumptions, whether by design or accident, do we not? For instance, because I take a certain stance, many assume that i have no luck finding willing submissives, such is certainly not the case. Or that I'm a "whiner", inexperienced, or just out for sex. Wrong on all counts.

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 11

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:14:53 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

"A man of words and not deeds is like a garden full of weeds", perhaps such can be applied to (some)women as well lol....

And perhaps these same words can be applied to the OP?
I love irony on a Saturday afternoon.

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 12

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:19:55 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

And thanks to those who reply, both to me and to the post. "A man of words and not deeds is like a garden full of weeds", perhaps such can be applied to (some)women as well lol....

Choosing not to answer an email is a "deed" unto itself ...no? Actions do speak louder than words.

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 13

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:23:33 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

First and foremost, this is NOT a post critical of the sincere sub that searches. Enough of the excuses already, such as "I get too many messages to answer them all"(Then don't advertise and expect not to), "I'm taken"(then why list as seeking), etc etc. Not all that difficult to type "I'm interested" or "no thanks" and click reply. Even if the sub is not interested, does that have to equal a lack of courtesy by not replying at all? Why even allow the double standard or prolong the use of it. I at least take the time to respond to someone who takes the time to message me. Maybe the expectations are a bit too high on the professed "sub's" part if she/he is just there and doesn't reply to anyone at all. A dom who acts the jerk or like the person already belongs to them when they haven't even met may deserve that, the one who is sincere doesn't.

If a dom e-mails me when my profile says I'm taking (and yes mine says I'm only seeking friends) and he is trying to own me, then he is being obscenely rude in his refusal to respect my relationship. I owe him no courtesy.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 14

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:24:34 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

I'm not complaining about how others do things, just that fakes and players of either persuasion have no busininess wasting the time of sincere people.....

As I've said before, being rude does not make one a fake. If we kicked people from this lifestyle for being rude, there would not be enough people to support this site.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 15

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:26:47 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

I'm not complaining about how others do things, just that fakes and players of either persuasion have no busininess wasting the time of sincere people.....

& your scribblings here are contributions of a possitive sort?

(another 5 minutes I'll never get back)

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 16

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:28:15 AM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

As I've said before, being rude does not make one a fake. If we kicked people from this lifestyle for being rude, there would not be enough people to support this site.

<nods>

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 17

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:28:40 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

We all make assumptions, whether by design or accident, do we not? For instance, because I take a certain stance, many assume that i have no luck finding willing submissives, such is certainly not the case. Or that I'm a "whiner", inexperienced, or just out for sex. Wrong on all counts.

Thats true, yet some make assumptions based on prior acts. You also have a thread complaining about young women who do not want older dominant partners. What your actions and words lead people to assume is that you are disgruntled because the young female submissives prefer someone closer to their age, and they are not answering your emails.

(in reply to MellowSir)

Post #: 18

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:34:53 AM

MellowSir

Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

Ha ha, good one MstrssPassion, guess I shouldn't say anything if I've nothing good to say? lol

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 19

RE: Lack of sincerity/excuses - 4/21/2007 9:36:23 AM

SweetMegan20

Posts: 34
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline

I try to reply to as many people as I can, but sometimes I get so many messages, and some of the messages I get are so long, I simply can't be bothered.

Maybe I should start using the auto-replies.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 20

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